You don't need more time, you need to be more present

Some things you plan. Other things just happen to you.

I feel like my birthday just happened to me. I planned a party in London for myself two weeks prior and invited 400 people to it — all from South Africa. Oh and my actual birthday is December 25th.

I'm a Winter Baby who loves the summer. I'm a night owl who loves the morning. I'm a social butterfly who loves the quiet. I'm a dreamer who loves the reality.

My entire life has been a series of contradictions and this past month has been no different. A night out with friends, good music, digi-cams, stickers, foam-boards, a fog machine & lights to blind you, jenga & streetfighter, overindulging on food (Oxtail Pizza) & drinks. Oh and a dress code that was more of a threat than a guideline — all planned from the discomfort of the many great and bad decisions I made while in South Africa. The kind of thing you throw together in a group chat and hope for the best.

Mind you, I was enjoying my first actual "summer" during my birthday, spending a month between Cape Town and Joburg. I was not coming back to London, if not for a call from Olay:

So what are you doing this party den?

Stressed was not even the word, but somewhere between confirming the venue and fighting for my life with the DJ's, it became something else. It became a thing. A real thing with a name and stickers and people asking "when's the next one?"

The night itself

Four DJs. Two MCs. One rule: outdress me.

ELLADHC opened. SATRA-SIA followed (she saved my life as I had a date clash with SelectaSuave). AYCHIBS brought the energy up, and DJNAIRAA closed it out. D CHIEF EXECUTIVE and FADZ held the mic down all night. God bless everyone, especially Fadz who was the only one who literally does not do this by trade. (I forced her.)

We didn't even need to do the ice breaker game because everyone was already in their zones; we didn't have the chance to bring out the sparklers and azul because we were too busy dancing. We didn't get to have the best-dressed vote because we were too busy being the best-dressed.

I had a guest list app that I built the week before because I couldn't stop overthinking and that was useful for about the first two hours before the venue was packed. (Thank you April and Jas on the door.)

I was not even sure if I had nairaa locked in until my very last day in Joburg, when I was in an Uber on the way to the airport, and he called me right after a girl I met in Jozzy decided to meet me at the airport to say goodbye. It all felt like a #movie #romance.

What I learned

Plans change. Planning is indispensable but you need to be prepared for the unexpected — and the unexpected will happen. Do you know how many times we set off the fire alarms with the haze machine? (Worth it.)

People notice when you put in the effort. When you care about them, they care about you. The biggest thing I learned was that I can't do this alone. I needed you all. (I #love you.)

Building something for people you care about hits different. Every detail matters more. You're not shipping a product — you're making sure the people you love indulge in an experience.

Why I do this

My love for outside, do not quote me, is something I've always struggled to explain. It's not just about the yap, the music and the food. It's about the people, the culture, the energy. It's about the feeling of being alive, of being free, of being yourself. I rarely have a bad day outside. If I can't explain that through words, my one mission was to make sure you experience it for yourself.

I wanted everyone to yell #involveme, I wanted the #fomo to suffocate you if you missed it. I wanted everyone to feel like I saved their life by inviting them.

I learned how to speak that language. I learned how to be that person. I learned now more than ever how to be myself to others.

What's next

I don't know yet. (Stop asking.)

If you were there — thank you. If you weren't — wagwarn fi next time?.

— OA , Father Stretch My Bandz